Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Unrequited Love


Unrequited love is love that is given but not returned. For example, if you were desperately in love with someone but they failed to love you in return, your love would be unrequited.


A Midsummer Night's Dream explores several instances of unrequited love, but the most predominant instance in Act 1 is that of Helena and Demetrius. Is Helena pathetic for pursuing Demetrius so insistently, or can we call her brave? Is better to follow your love, even if your feelings are unreturned? At what point should you back down and give up?


As always, BE SURE TO READ THE OTHER COMMENTS BEFORE POSTING YOUR OWN. PLEASE COMMENT ON OTHERS' COMMENTS AND AVOID REPETITION.

25 comments:

  1. I would not go as far as to call Helena pathetic for loving Demetrius when he does not love her back, but she should not be classified as brave. The reason she is not pathetic is because she is not the only one to ever have feelings for someone who did not also have feelings for them. However, I do think she is going to far by telling Demetrius about Lydsnder and Hermia running off together. I believe Helena could be brave if she got over her feeling for Demetrious and went on with her life. I think it is wise to not follow your love if it is unreturned because you should not obsess over something that is nnever going to happen. The point you should back down and give up is when you relize the one you love is in love with someone else.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I agree with Kaity when she says that it is going to far when Helena goes and tells Demetrius about Lydsnder and Hermia's plan to run away together. I think that she should just give up because her telling Demetrius this wont really do any good for her.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I agree with Kaity and Melissa because Helena shouldn't be called pahtetic. I think Helena seems jealous of Hermia and how 2 people love her and Hermia only loves 1 back. On the other hand, Helena loves Demetrius and he loves Hermia. I wouldn't call her brave because she will just cause other problems to evolve. I think there's a point where you can follow your love even if, in return they're sharing the same feelings you are, but it's to an extent. Sometimes when you love someone who doesn't love you back it seems kind of creapy and obcessive.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I agree with Kaity on the last part when she said "I think it is wise to not follow your love if it is unreturned because you should not obsess over something that is never going to happen." I think she's spot on with that. I agree with everyone else when they said that Helena shouldn't be called pathetic. I think she's doing the same thing somebody else would do if they loved somebody, but like MeganL said, "I wouldn't call her brave because she will just cause other problems to evolve" she's just there to cause more problems. The point in which she should give up is when she starts feeling put down and miserable because of this person, at that point, it's no longer worth it.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I agree with everyone so far on the idea that Helena is just pathetic. It is sometimes considered good to chase after the one you know you should be with, but "obsessing" as Kaity put it over someone who is not destined to belong with you is time waisted. I believe it is not bravery but her gut instinct to do this. It is easy to say that, but it's not her fault she loves Demetrius. However, I think the intent for Helena is ridiculous and she is trying too hard for something that will never happen. However, I do believe that some twists to the story are going to occur so maybe loving Demetrius will pay off in the long run. (Oberon's secret magical nectar on Demetrius???) What do you guys think will happen?

    ReplyDelete
  6. I have a little bit of a different take on Helena's love for Demetrius. I think it is alright for Helena to love Demetrius, which everyone has said already, but I do think that the extent that she loves him at is pathetic. As Katie first mentioned, it was too far for Helena to give up Lysander and Hermia's secret to Demetrius and I would say that by being that infatuated with Demetrius she has become pathetically in love with him. Going off of that, I would say that she wasn't being brave by loving Demetrius so much; she was being fanatical and dim. I think like most of you have kind of pointed out that Helena's love for Demetrius, which is unreturned, is not a good form of love. When there is a deep love that is not returned I do not think it is better to continue the same love for that person. However, I do think that a certain degree of love is ok to have, because it is ok to care for someone, as long as it doesnt go over the top. I agree with Katie when she said that the extent of love/going over the top is when the person is in love with someone else. I also think that when someone starts neglecting or betraying their friends they should give up love that is unrequited.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hey Cody- I didnt see your question at first but I think that, since the play is a comedy, the spell will be cast but that Demetrius will fall in love with some really weird creature or person.

    ReplyDelete
  8. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I believe that Helena is not pathetic for following her heart and chasing after Demetrius. I agree with Kaity that Helena isn't pathetic but she is going to far by teling Demetrius that Hermia and Lysander are running away. I don't know if brave is the correct word for Helena. I think Helena is just determined and strong-minded for what she wants in life.
    I think that it is better not to follow love when it's unreturned because there is no point in chasing something that will never chase you back. Chasing an unreturned love will start to feel as if you were just chasing air. However, you should never forget about following your heart even after you turn around and head back. I agree with Nick that you should go back when you start feeling nothing moving forward and miserable. For example, Helena should have gone back when Demetrius was given permission to marry Hermia instead of trying to push through everything going on around her.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I agree with everyone. It is alright for Helena to love Demetrius, but i think she is taking it to far, especially with the fact that he doesn't love her back. She definatelydid take it to far by telling Demetrius about Hermia and Lysanders plan to run away together. I think what Kristin said "I think Helena is just determined and strong-minded for what she wants in life" is a good statement. I was tought by my parents to always follow my dreams. I think at this point though, Helena should give up on her love for Demetrius.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I also agree with the previous comments saying that it is alright for Helena to pursue her love. I think it appears that she is taking it too far but none of the people judging her can feel the same feelings she does. They don't understand what impact love can have. I think she just feels like she cannot give up. She's too optimistic to doubt any future she could have with Demetrius.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I argee with every one that has said Helena is not pathetic for going after Demetrius. No one can help who they love and sometimes its hard to ignore what we might want in life. But I do not think that Helena is brave to any extent. Because Helena is very persistant and will not take no as an answer might come off as brave, her actions demonstrate selfishness. I think that following your love even though they may not have the same feelings for you might be a good thing, there is always a time to draw the line and move on. Following you love is a good thing in a sense that it might give that person some sort of satisfaction. But I think the time where a person should draw the line between personal desires and following their love is when the person that is not returning the feelings, finds another person. Say instead of Helena loving Demetirus, she loved Lysander. Lysander is already in love with Hermia and is happy, therefore Helena should be happy for Lysander. If Helena really loved him she would be understand and ignore her feelings for the other person's well being.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Well I think Demetrious follows hermia but hermia does return the favor of love to demetrious. So i think Helena feels that it is okay to be in love with Demetrious because no one loves him back exept for her. So I would consider it okay for Helena to have feelings for Demetrious but if Hermia was in love with Demetrious then I think that Helena should back off and let things take there course

    ReplyDelete
  14. I think that Helena should follow her heart and try to get that love to be returned from Demetrious. At the point that she is trying to sabotage the love of Lysander and Hermias love so that Demetrious will realize she is better is going to far. I think that at that point it is time to through in the towel and move on.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I think that Helena is pathetic for constantly chasing Demetrius because he doesn’t love her. She may be brave because she is chasing after somebody that is supposed to be taken for her friend Hermia. I do not think that you should chase after somebody that does not love you back because that is pointless to chase after somebody that will not love you back. I think you should go back and give up because when she does not want to be with you for the first or maybe the second. If you get turned down you do not give up on love, you just move on and try to find the Mr. or Mrs. right for you.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Just like Cody said that he has agreed with most everyone about being pathetic, i agree also. I really think Helena should go for someone else, if Demetrius does not her at all then there is no point. What is the purpose for loving someone for a long time and having no return, i think it is absolutely pathetic. She must move on and find someone else, i mean if the Demetrius had little interest in her than i would find it ok but thats not the case here. She is a little brave i guess for loving someone for so long but seriously i kinda feel bad for Demetrius for having to deal with Helena for so long. Someone should give up when they know the person for sure doesn't like them . If there is still hope and your really into them then yes go for it but otherwise back off as soon as possible. The longer you wait for that person the more time you could have finding some other girl/guy. In all i think Helena is being pathetic and should try to find another option before it is too late.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Helena is kind of brave by pursuing Demetrius, but at the same time, where is that getting her? When you have tried your hardest and shown them all of your feeling and there is still n o love back, then you should move on and find an equally weighted relationship.
    Travis- Imagine that there was a beautiful chick with a great personality that you really liked. Would you try to pursue her even though she didn't like you at first?

    ReplyDelete
  18. I agree with Kaity, Helena is not pathetic but trapped in a battle within herself. She loves Demetrius but he does not love her, and she thinks her friendships are less important than that of her love for Demetrius. I wouldn't call her brave because not facing the music and ratting out your friends is definately not brave. She should move on but, that is not likely

    ReplyDelete
  19. I disagree with Travis, I would call Helena brave, because in most situations during present time we give up easily, and continue to give up without thinking much of it. Helena is determined, she sets a great example of how we should live our lives today, not only in the situation of love. From the day we had dreams our parents always taught us to follow our hearts, so why should Helena be excused from this? You should follow your heart, and love who you want you can't help who you fall in love with and no one can judge you fairly for it because they don't know the feelings you are feeling. Yes there should be a point at which you should back off. I agree with Austin, the point should be when that person is in love with someone else, or that person is in a relationship of married to someone else. Although, I feel like if you truly love someone that feeling will never go away completely. Thats something you have to deal with, and I think it's just harder for Helena than anyone can realize.

    ReplyDelete
  20. I think she is brave but also kind of dumb because you can love someone and pursuing some one will not make them love you but she is brave because most pepole will stop prusuing some one if not loved i think she should of gave up a long time ago cause if you no u are not loved there is no point to try to love have them love you if you ca just get a new love or look for one

    ReplyDelete
  21. I agree with most everything that has been said so far. I do not think that Helena is pathetic for loving Demetrius, even if he doesn't love her in return. I wouldn't call her brave either. I think that she has pursued Demetrius so long without receiving love back that she could be described as somewhat passionate, borderline obsessed. But I wouldn't call her pathetic. Everyone has or probably will experience unrequited love at some point in their life. I think that the point that you should give up is when you are ready to let go of the person that you have loved for so long. Or when it is obvious that they don't and never will have the same feelings for you that you have for them.

    ReplyDelete
  22. I personally think that Helena has gone much too far by traveling to the woods after Demetrious. She is just being pathetic by telling Demetrious of Lysander and Hermias plans. In Act two scene one when Demetrious walks out on Helena I think she needs to realize that there is no hope for her and Demetrious. So, I would have to disagree with everyone that has called Helena brave. Helena is not being brave, but rather creepy. She is on the verge of stalking him. Helena is pathetic for the way she acts toward Demetrious.

    ReplyDelete
  23. I think that Helena isn't pathetic for loving Demetrious so much but there is a limit to how far you can love someone especially if it means ratting out your own friend that trusts you and telling Demitrious about the meeting in the would's between Lysander and Hermia. Also it's not completely Helena's fault for loving Demitrious. It's all Demitrious's fault for having that afair with Helena that ended up with her falling for him.

    I believe that you should not follow love if the love is not returned. It's only going to cause more pain for the idividual when they sooner or later come to reality that they will never have that special person. If a person is not returning the love that you are providing for them just try to slowly but surly get over them and attempt to move on.

    I believe that you should back down when you find out that they dont like you and are in love with another person. Because it's like this. If you love someone you throw all your feelings towerds that individual and dont like/love anyone else, the same goes for the other individual that loves another person. Like Helena loves Demitrious and doesn't love anyone else. The same goes for Demitrious loving Hermia and no one else.

    ReplyDelete
  24. I agree with Austin and Jake L. The extent to which Helena is in love with Demetrius is pathetic. It is understandable to fall in love with someone, even if they don't love you back, but her actions (telling Demetrius about Lysander and Hermia) are unnecessary and it is most certainly not brave. Considering how Demetrius doesn't even return her love, the fact that she betrays her friend, Hermia, just to get Demetrius to notice her, was also pathetic.

    ReplyDelete
  25. I don't think that Helena is pathetic for just loving someone; It happens all the time! However I do think it is pathetic that she thinks that she can win his favor by ratting out her friends Hermia and Lysander, if anything he will try to go after Hermia; yet I do think that it's slimy of Demetrius to simply sleep with Helena yet still go after another girl. I can't help but wonder if he is purposely leading her on. That seems just a little suspicious to me. However, on the other hand I guess it could have been a long time ago and he let it go and she has spent forever just obsessing over him, and in that case I guess I would have to say that I think her love of Demetrius is indefinably pathetic.

    ReplyDelete